can't take these animore....

Today's been realli lousy for mi.. well at least not the whole day... but from the aftn onwards.. my day just have been bad... win stayed over last nite.. hmm first time eh? but was busy doing project stuff.. vetting through essay before i even started on mine.. by the time i've finished.. it was like almost 4.. but aniwae, she was on the phone.. so at least i din feel so bad.. got tua today for lect.. bus came late, inconsiderate pple at print shop.. lecture tat din seemed too useful... eyes hurting like crazy for no reason.. kept sneezing.. felt so terrible... n there's no one to be there for mi... Be strong! tat's wat i try to tell myself.. but can I? why do i feel tat i have to take all this shit when i dun deserve it.. just felt that the last few hrs seems as if the whole world is against mi.. except prob the time when i was in joanne's room.. was complaining to her.. feels gd to let it off my chest.. [ telling myself: Learn not to be dependent on others!] Am i demanding too much ? keep telling myself not to rely on others over n over again but y do i still keep falling into this same trap again.. is my expectation too high? i dun tink so.. maybe the world doesn't tink like mi... dun understand y i let myself get so affected n disappointed when others fail mi... it's not my fault.. it's theirs.. they should feel bad.. none of my business..
eyes are hurting ,tink cuz of the weather and i'm falling sick again.. skipped cell to come back n rest but i just can't help but to blog cuz i dun want to keep it inside... i feel so terrible if i can't let it out.. [remind myself: DUN rely or expect of others] cuz if u do.. u're just going to be the ONLY one who gets upset...somehow, when u have sthg tat's bothering ur heart.. everything seems to be going against u.. i noe this is no some major prob or anything.. i might be just kicking a big fuss out of nothing.. but i feel this really goes to show how pple value u n also tat pple are selfish.. let's admit it.. this is a fact and nothing can change it.. just like how ferd says.. life is never fair... how true.. stop n ponder for a moment.. when was the last time u realli went out of the way to help others?? not just those where u did it out of convenience.. or because u simply was there?? people just fail u ... so the only way out is to be strong.. no expectations.. no disappointments...
at least i noe there's still pple ard who dun disappoint mi as much... dunnoe y.. there may be times they do.. but i still love them all the same... somehow i dun take these to heart... somehow i always feel that i'm those who dun take things to heart easier.. i just laugh it off or just suan le.. just let mi complain abit n i'll be fine.. but dunnoe y.. i just cant do tat this time.. realli need to learn from yifen.. she's such a nice ger... never ever take things to heart... super duper nice to everyone...dun think i can reach her stage... but i'll try...
dun want to dwell on such things... onli make mi feel depressed n despondent over the failing nature of humans... still have got a million n one things to do... one more day to my liberation!!! feel so happie.. but now must work hard first!! finally.. i can find the time to go out... looking forward to meeting em on sat.. it's been such a long time... n i have to organise outing soon too... it's been so long... prob movie?? been wanting to watch a series of misfortunate events.. hope the rest haven't watch it yet...tmr at 345... i'll be liberated!!! woohoo... back for now.. it's back to my cd rom n my tut... just saw my econometrics results.. 27.. not bad ar.. but actually not leh... cuz it's quite easy.. so everyone got high marks... haiz.. econs is realli competitive.. realli need to like score 100% kind... sian diao.. there goes my expected results n cap... need to get new specs [ you wun believe how i lost them] , bag? noe i just got one.. but i want a sling one!! clothes!! cut my hair.. it's realli looking like grass ... yellow grass scorched by the sun... n also lots of time to chill out wif my frens!!! just want to spend time wif them.. em, win, sbones.. xl, peg, sh,yf.. ac pple..haiz.. i miss them all...oh ya.. saw charlie on tv on sun.. so not him.. but he looks the most decent of all..haha... sitting there.. talking like a well behaved little boy while the rest exudes this yo watsup man attitude.... charlie on tv.. so not him..hehe.. happened to see sinclair ang on the same show.. haiz.. scandalous ar... aniwae.. lots of rubbish here ar.. shall go do my work... shall post up happie things here.. instead of this depressing entry...ciao...